宰了豹子精

　　{"body":[{"id":"40693699847389184","sort":"0","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"逃離山洞后，我自是尋找唐僧！畢竟我那美麗的未來(lái)是拽在他手上！"},{"id":"40694059299241984","sort":"1024","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"嗯！是應(yīng)該找他！"},{"id":"40694059299241985","sort":"2048","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"然而迎接我的是一幕令我惱火的情況！那個(gè)豬八戒竟鬧著要散伙！它要回它的高老莊，它要看高翠蘭！"},{"id":"40694059299241986","sort":"3072","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"它??！它那兩個(gè)臉頰純粹是沙包，太欠揍了！"},{"id":"40694059299241987","sort":"4096","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒(méi)錯(cuò)！老娘當(dāng)時(shí)，我就沖過(guò)去，我直接給它兩巴掌！我吼道：“你再給老娘我說(shuō)一句！看我不弄死你！”此話一出，那當(dāng)場(chǎng)是鴉雀無(wú)聲啊！"},{"id":"40694059299241988","sort":"5120","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"哦！它們當(dāng)時(shí)，它們都愣住了嗎？！"},{"id":"40694059299241989","sort":"6144","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒(méi)錯(cuò)！我記得，當(dāng)它們回過(guò)神來(lái)，它們哈哈大笑！那豬八戒說(shuō)：“猴哥！你怎能自稱老娘呢？這不符合您那齊天大圣的名號(hào)！”“是??！您是受到什么刺激了嗎？您居然還掐蘭花指呢？！”"},{"id":"40696509309649920","sort":"7168","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"哈哈……堂堂孫悟空居然成了娘娘腔?。?},{"id":"40696509309649921","sort":"8192","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"呵！我管這軀殼是誰(shuí)？我只做我自己！"},{"id":"40696509309649922","sort":"9216","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"看來(lái)！這孫悟空大鬧天宮所豎立的形象是要?dú)г谀闶稚狭耍?},{"id":"40696509309649923","sort":"10240","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"毀了就毀了唄！孫悟空是我爹，還是我媽?。?！"},{"id":"40696509309649924","sort":"11264","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"你這話似乎有點(diǎn)不負(fù)責(zé)任?。?},{"id":"40696509309649925","sort":"12288","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"行了！行了！我們不是來(lái)扯犢子的！而談我穿越后的故事！"},{"id":"40696509309649926","sort":"13312","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"好吧！那之后呢？你是不是阻止它們繼續(xù)笑話？"},{"id":"40697073544200192","sort":"14336","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"那是自然！！我當(dāng)即就吼道，再笑？信不信？你們以后，只能拿我這拳頭當(dāng)三餐！？"},{"id":"40697458228985856","sort":"15360","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"哇涼！你這壓根就是恐嚇！"},{"id":"40697458228985857","sort":"16384","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"那效果是立竿見(jiàn)影！它們當(dāng)時(shí)，它們就不敢笑了！"},{"id":"40697458228985858","sort":"17408","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"我想接下來(lái)！你肯定是問(wèn)它們唐僧的所在！"},{"id":"40697458228985859","sort":"18432","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒(méi)錯(cuò)！它們當(dāng)時(shí)，它們是這樣回復(fù)我：“你來(lái)遲了！師傅被妖怪抓走！”我當(dāng)即，我就賞了沙悟凈兩巴掌！我叫道：“它是豬圈里出了的，它笨也就算了！你怎么也？難道跟它相處久了，你腦子也滾回豬圈了嗎？！”"},{"id":"40697458228985860","sort":"19456","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"啊！你這似乎有點(diǎn)無(wú)理取鬧了！"},{"id":"40697458228985861","sort":"20480","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒(méi)事！那沙悟凈啊連吭都不敢吭一聲！實(shí)在好欺負(fù)！"},{"id":"40697532568829952","sort":"21504","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……我真為你未來(lái)的老公感到擔(dān)憂??！"},{"id":"40697532568829953","sort":"22528","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"你這話，我就不愛(ài)聽(tīng)了！他會(huì)選擇娶我，他就是喜歡我這副德行！這叫什么來(lái)著？對(duì)了！周瑜打黃蓋――兩廂情愿！"},{"id":"40697581977731072","sort":"23552","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"你這么語(yǔ)出驚人，我只能說(shuō)，幸好！我不是男人，我不會(huì)愛(ài)上你！"},{"id":"40697656049139712","sort":"24576","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"靠！你這么說(shuō)，你就不怕我難過(guò)？"},{"id":"40697656049139713","sort":"25600","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"得了吧！你壓根就是個(gè)沒(méi)心沒(méi)肺的人！難過(guò)個(gè)毛線！"},{"id":"40697656049139714","sort":"26624","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"行了！還是不要越扯越遠(yuǎn)了！到時(shí)，遠(yuǎn)到天邊，那可就不好玩了！"},{"id":"40697930406952960","sort":"27648","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……也是！我想，當(dāng)時(shí)，你肯定是拽著它們?nèi)ゾ忍粕耍?},{"id":"40697930406952961","sort":"28672","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"你怎么知道？真不愧是我肚子里的蛔蟲(chóng)！"},{"id":"40697930406952962","sort":"29696","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……我才不要！蛔蟲(chóng)太臟了！它太不配我這張臉了！即使是比喻也不行！"},{"id":"40698013068296192","sort":"30720","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"好了！就你最會(huì)臭美！"},{"id":"40698114000027648","sort":"31744","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"耶！別跑題了！當(dāng)時(shí)，你們是怎樣營(yíng)救唐僧的？！"},{"id":"40698114000027649","sort":"32768","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"我們？當(dāng)時(shí)，那是直奔主題！我們來(lái)到妖怪的洞府！"},{"id":"40698239896256512","sort":"33792","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"那當(dāng)時(shí)，你是不是狠狠威風(fēng)了一把？"},{"id":"40698239896256513","sort":"34816","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒(méi)有！雖然我有孫悟空拜師學(xué)藝的記憶！但是我對(duì)于那些武功招式，我實(shí)在是生疏！"},{"id":"40698239896256514","sort":"35840","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"啊！你不要告訴你又出糗了！"},{"id":"40698340559552512","sort":"36864","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"不怕你笑話！我當(dāng)時(shí)，我啊的一聲！我邊沖，我棍子邊亂舞！我突然，我聽(tīng)到有東西掉地上，我忍不住，我回頭！我看到豬八戒、沙悟凈，它們不僅嘴巴張得大大的，還把手里的武器給掉地上了！那表情，整個(gè)是懵圈?。?},{"id":"40698466187345920","sort":"37888","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"什么？難道當(dāng)時(shí)，你是去搞笑的？！"},{"id":"40698466187345921","sort":"38912","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"我想，是吧！我記得那豹子精是笑得趴在地上！但聽(tīng)，它說(shuō)：“這……這就是孫悟空？怎這架勢(shì)，跟潑婦似的？！”"},{"id":"40698466187345922","sort":"39936","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……我不能再腦補(bǔ)了！萬(wàn)一，我笑死了，豈不成天下奇聞？！"},{"id":"40698504036745216","sort":"40960","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"有那么夸張嗎？算了！反正，我當(dāng)時(shí)，我就亂棍打過(guò)去！"},{"id":"40698768730882048","sort":"41984","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"這何止是漏洞百出，整個(gè)是漏成一張網(wǎng)了！"},{"id":"40698768730882049","sort":"43008","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒(méi)錯(cuò)！它隨便一伸手，它就擋住了我的攻擊！還好我腦子夠機(jī)靈，我就想，這金箍棒重一萬(wàn)三千五百斤。我當(dāng)機(jī)立斷，我直接松手，我說(shuō)：“你要？那就給你了！”結(jié)果，那豹子精就這樣活活被壓死了！"},{"id":"40698768730882050","sort":"44032","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"??！這……這……這未免也死得太隨便了吧！"},{"id":"40698807100375040","sort":"45056","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是嗎？反正，對(duì)我當(dāng)時(shí)而言，是死了就好！"},{"id":"40698807100375041","sort":"46080","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"嗯！這倒是！"},{"id":"40699008980615168","sort":"47104","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"唉！最是不要臉的，就是那豬八戒！當(dāng)時(shí)，它撿起九齒釘耙，是屁顛屁顛跑來(lái)拍馬屁！它說(shuō)：“我對(duì)猴哥真是佩服得五體投地，你只用一招，你就讓豹子精見(jiàn)閻王了！”"},{"id":"40699008980615169","sort":"48128","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"這不是你最討厭的嗎？！"},{"id":"40699008980615170","sort":"49152","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"所以我當(dāng)即是將豬八戒摁倒，然后，我用腳踩著！我說(shuō)：“如你所愿！五體投地！”"},{"id":"40699123317342208","sort":"50176","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"與我所想的一樣！難道當(dāng)時(shí)，就沒(méi)有人勸說(shuō)嗎？！"},{"id":"40699123317342209","sort":"51200","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"有！當(dāng)時(shí)，是沙悟凈跑過(guò)來(lái)。它說(shuō)：“猴哥！二師兄，它這是贊美你！”我一聽(tīng)，我狠狠白了它一眼！它就不敢再說(shuō)了！"},{"id":"40699203042672640","sort":"52224","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"這個(gè)沙悟凈也未免太軟弱了吧！"},{"id":"40699203042672641","sort":"53248","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是?。∥叶伎床幌氯チ?！我當(dāng)時(shí)，我就對(duì)它說(shuō)：“你敢不敢再男人一點(diǎn)？”你知道回答我什么？它居然說(shuō)：“那……那……我寧愿做女人！”"},{"id":"40699299427778560","sort":"54272","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"啊？不是吧？！"},{"id":"40699299427778561","sort":"55296","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"我當(dāng)時(shí)，我就震驚了！我拍著它的肩，我對(duì)它說(shuō)：“以后，我叫你往東，就不許你往西！我叫你往西，你絕不可以往東！聽(tīng)明白沒(méi)？！”“是！大師兄！”"},{"id":"40699299427778562","sort":"56320","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"你這擺明了是要欺負(fù)它！"},{"id":"40699347209289728","sort":"57344","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"對(duì)！當(dāng)時(shí)，我就是想，?。∵@是純天然受氣包！"},{"id":"40699369741090816","sort":"58368","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"你這個(gè)壞胚子？！那后來(lái)呢？"},{"id":"40699369741090817","sort":"59392","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"當(dāng)然是救出唐僧！"}],"sentencecount":59}