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雨落長安

第二十一章 時(shí)光逆轉(zhuǎn)16

雨落長安 暮昜仁卿 1353 2021-04-14 15:59:53

  時(shí)光繼續(xù)逆轉(zhuǎn),2009年1月2日,柳詩然懷念已逝的太奶奶,想念江楓,又很怨恨他,寫下了《心語》:

  2008年終于結(jié)束了,這曾經(jīng)是我最期待的一年,可卻是我最感傷的一年。這一年失去了兩個(gè)人,愛人、親人,生離、死別,都感受過了。一句“我怕耽誤你”而后絕然離開,兩年的感情頃刻結(jié)束,一句“天亦不變,愛亦不變”的誓言隨風(fēng)吹散。于是終于知道,愛上一個(gè)人是沒有理由的,而離開一個(gè)人卻有著太多的借口。想起了林妹妹,為報(bào)神英侍者的施露之恩,用一生的淚來償還。想起了那句話,愛上一個(gè)人需要一年,而忘卻一個(gè)人卻需要一生的時(shí)間,真的嗎?感覺自己快要流盡這一生的淚了……103歲的太奶奶也在這一年走了,78歲的爺爺沒有媽媽了,家也不是五世同堂了。靈堂上太奶奶的照片是那樣的慈祥,可是人已不在,恨自己為什么沒有早回來,還可以見上最后一面,和太奶奶中間隔了兩輩人,對太奶奶的感情或許沒有爸爸媽媽爺爺奶奶深,可畢竟,在我人生的二十三年中都有這位老人,每次回老家,都有爺爺奶奶和太奶奶這三位老人,可現(xiàn)在,少了一個(gè),就感覺少了很多。她真的很讓我敬佩,走過了清朝、民國和現(xiàn)在,太爺早就去了,她一個(gè)人走過這么多年,身體一直很好,一切自理,不用別人照顧,真的是到時(shí)候了吧,突然就去了,也沒有麻煩別人侍奉過。那天晚上很冷,給太奶奶送路的隊(duì)伍好長好長,所有的人都哭了。記得以前,每年都有電視臺或報(bào)社的記者來采訪,那時(shí)候太奶奶神采奕奕,我以為她可以永遠(yuǎn)這樣。終于明白,原來再堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的靈魂似乎也敵不過命運(yùn)……2008年,這一年大學(xué)畢業(yè),曾經(jīng)想像著這會是美好的一年,可以逃離學(xué)校踏入社會,可以自由自在,豪情壯志可以大干一番。離開學(xué)校才知道,社會真的很殘酷,更多的是失望和打擊,一年了,感覺自己一直像是在漂泊,一直也沒有找到合適自己的位置,卻是身心的疲憊……終于,過去了,最討厭的這一年終于過去了,牛年到了,我的本命年了,真快,等到6月1日就是我二十四周歲的生日了。2008年不知道得到了什么,失去的卻太多太多,新的一年了,希望可以否極泰來。想起了那句話:地球是圓的,不可能總在一個(gè)點(diǎn),所以也不可能總是失意伴隨。本命年許下一個(gè)愿望:希望家人永遠(yuǎn)平安幸福,希望所有的好朋友永遠(yuǎn)開心快樂,希望我的夢想可以在這一年一一實(shí)現(xiàn)。感謝所有關(guān)心我的人,我很幸福很快樂,呵呵,牛年快樂!

  2008年11月8日,柳詩然用不太合語法的英文寫下了《about goal,about work,about life……》,夏雨雨抱怨柳詩然的這篇英文,是她一個(gè)詞一個(gè)詞查英文詞典才看懂的,太費(fèi)勁了。

  what's your goal in life?if someone ask me the question,i'm bound to answer that my goal is to make my life more wonderful.but,how can i make my life more wonderful?to be honest,i'm very confused about it.i ever haved many dreams in my childhood.i was very very innocent and lovely.i ever wanted to become journalist,actress,director and so on.but,i found that i was not suit for those position because my character.my character is very introverted and i have no confidence.so i'm very depressed for a long while.especially,when i started to search for the job after i graduated from university.i felt very unhappy and disappoint in this year.interview a job and failure again and again.certainly,i can find several jobs that was not pleased to me.frankly,to search for a job isn't difficult,but a satisfied job is very difficult when you find it.-

  today,i'm working in samsung company.as is known to all,samsung is a big international company,samsung mobile phone is famous for everyone.however,my work is mobile phone testing.i'm a employee in the minimum level of company,the salary is very low and have no any bonus.what's more,it is very difficult to promote.the opportunity is about zero. i hate to tell you,this job is my the fourth job,i don't want to change jobs very frequently.but i know i can't,i'm not pleased to this job,it make me very boring and unhappy.i think i'm a ambitious girl,i like the work more challenging. so i think the job isn't suit for me.thus,i want to quit.but it isn't a easy thing,i must be find a new satisfied job instead it,or i will not quit.so i must be promote myself.i find the english is very important to find a good job in foreign enterprise.it is my objective to find a suitable job in foreign enterprise.i start to learn business english in xindongfang training school at weekend.work and study make me very tired.however,i know i must be keep it up.i believe that i can make it.i firmly believe i will succeed in my work and life in future.i expect and wait for the day of success.-

  10月29日,柳詩然寫下了《冬》:

  已經(jīng)深秋了,馬上冬天就要來臨了。記得小時(shí)候,很喜歡冬天,喜歡下雪的日子。喜歡看那圣潔的雪花紛紛揚(yáng)揚(yáng),飄灑落地,總是期盼著下雪。可是現(xiàn)在,感覺自己對很多東西都沒什么感覺了,一切都已經(jīng)看得很淡了,很難找到讓自己欣喜的事情了。突然討厭冬天了,害怕寒冷。自然界的冬天很漫長,而我人生的冬天似乎更漫長,不知何時(shí)是盡頭。時(shí)刻在對自己說,堅(jiān)持吧,一定會有春暖花開的那一天!

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